1.7.10

WHAT?!?!?!

I have taken a pregnancy test,
not once, not twice but thrice.
One last Wednesday, one on Sunday and
one last night. Each one was positive.
I am still in shock.
This WAS planned, very planned, we just didn't think that the first time we tried
it would work!
It took 2 years to concieve Charlee and 1 year to concieve
Tommy.
When Tommy was born, Lynn was done. He was happy with a family of four.
We have a boy and girl, he was done.
I, on the other hand, was on the fence. I have had this nagging feeling
that there was one more waiting to be apart of our family.
Then I just knew that I wanted to try for one more.
One might ask, "Why now, why not wait?"
Well, as our track record shows, I do not get pregnant very easily and we assumed
that it might take a while.
I also knew, though, that there was a possibility that
I could get pregnant right away, but that would be ok.
When I found out I was preggo with Tommy, I had to haul out all the baby stuff, buy diapers, get prepared for having a baby all over again.
This way, I am already ready. (Or so I think. I don't think I will ever be fully ready.)
This way I don't even have to put away the bottles.
I will just be in baby world a bit longer.
According to a pregnancy calculator online, my due date is March 2nd.
I am only about 5 or 6 weeks along.
I go on July 9th for my first doctors appointment.
I am nervous.
I am thrilled.
I am afraid of miscarriage.
I am excited.
I am afraid that something will be wrong with the baby.
I am still in disbelief.
I am scared.
We will need a bigger car.
Boy or Girl?
(I can't wait to find out.)
We will have double the doctor bills.
(Tommys birth won't even be paid off yet.)
I am happy.
I will be really tired.
(I already am.)
I am worried about money.
Can we afford another one?
(Not really.)
Can I handlle 3 kids?
Will I have hypertension and diabetes again?
(Most likley.)
I am emotional.
I just can't wait to get this little on here!!!
I have a lot on my mind and I know that Lynn is very worried
because he has to work his buns off to provide for us, and work has been slow.
I just know that the promptings that I had were real.
This is all apart of Heavenly Fathers plan for us.
I have faith that everyting will be ok and that, somehow,
we will be able to handle whatever comes our way.

1 comment:

smaz said...

You are never ready for #3....but what a great family you guys are making! We love you both, and are huge fans of Charlie and Tommy. So excited to have another Brown cousin (since we consider ourselves your family). Much love!